To visit Martin's writing website, press here.

October 27, 2016

Groaners and Super-Groaners

Mutt: We're back!
Jeff: See you in C.U.B.A.
Mutt: It wasn't your fault.
Jeff: Well, I'm certainly not blaming my nephew, Nicolas, for sending me horrible jokes.
Mutt: I'm not blaming Nicolas either, whoever said they were his fault. You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Jeff: Just saying.
Mutt: Yeah Nicolas told me that he heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave.
Jeff: Turns out he was decomposing.
Mutt: Yesterday I was cleaning out the spice rack and discovered everything was expired.
Jeff: Oh no, what a waste of thyme!
Mutt: While we're in the kitchen, tell me Jeffery, how do you make holy water?
Jeff: That's easy. You boil the hell out of it.
Mutt: I was going to tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
Jeff: Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that blew up?
Mutt: No, I didn't.
Jeff: There was nothing left but de Brie.
Mutt: That's so wrong.
Jeff: I had a dream last night that I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda. Then I woke up this morning and realized it was just a Fanta Sea.
Mutt: They say that eating a clock is very time consuming.
Jeff: Yeah. Hey, why did the prune go out with the raisin?
Mutt: I don't know. Maybe they couldn't find dates.
Jeff: Speaking of reptiles, do you know a reptile's favorite pasta?
Mutt: If I'm not mistaken that would be Turtle-ini.
Jeff: Very good. And have you heard about the new movie, "Constipation"?
Mutt: No.
Jeff: That's probably because it hasn't come out yet.
Mutt: What's the matter?
Jeff: It's stuck in production.
Mutt: Oh mercy.
Jeff: Okay, say goodbye Mutt.
Mutt: Which reminds me: Do you know what the buffalo said to his son when he left for college?
Jeff: What?
Mutt: Bison.
(groaning sounds)