Hey! That's Me You're Talking About!

Sixty-four year old making $26,500 now paying $1,700 per year for medical coverage would pay $14,600 per year under Trumpcare. Does Trump care? Sorry, rhetorical question.

My very personal master plan is to retire soon and move back to the U.S. After a lifetime abroad I think I deserve at least that. I'm letting you in on my life story because it's emblematic and because it shows how the millionaire politicians can really affect the ordinary people. Negatively.

If--big if--the Republicans can pass Trumpcare, I'm out. I can no longer afford my big move. That probably means little to you, readers, but it's a dream I've held for almost forty years. With the GOP deck stacked against me, I can't afford to live in my own country, to live in my own house. Most of all, I can't afford to get sick in the U.S., where it's "go broke or die."

Here in Italy, like in most European countries, we have a public health system, which has pros and cons. The gov pays for it out of our wages before we see them. When you call the central booking number to make an appointment they tell you it might be a month or a year before you can see a specialist (you can't choose which Dr.) or get an exam like an MRI. Your family doctor, who is free/go anytime, probably needs those results immediately, so you go to a private facility and pay. You also pay a small fee for prescriptions.

When I say 'pay' I mean reasonable amounts, not astronomical American prices. A complete cardiac exam is about $40; chest x-rays $60; medicine might be $5 for a month's supply. Some of this depends on government subsidies and some on low market prices. With our salaries--university instructor and city official--about the same as the American minimum wage (pensions even lower), things get tight around the end of the month. We could never manage an exponential increase in health costs. Trumpcare would be ten times more expensive than Obamacare for me.

So, like 20 million other Americans, I'm watching this very closely. The big move is on hold. "Oh Lord, stuck in Messina again." This time the Washington con games mean life or death to us middle-class folks. The politicians had better do what's right or they'll hear from us bigly. So far, it doesn't look good.

Plus, my iphone is a hand-me-down.

Happy trials, Martin


Mutt:  Two peanuts walk into a bar.
Jeff:  Good morning, Mr. Mutt-ster. How art thou this fine day?
Mutt:  One was a salted.
Jeff:  Well, some people just don't like food going to waist.
Mutt:  A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Jeff:  A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"
Mutt:  Heard it.
Jeff:  Did you hear about the two silk worms who had a race.
Mutt:  No, what happened?
Jeff:  They ended up in a tie.
Mutt:  Where do you find giant snails?
Jeff:  On the ends of giant's fingers?
Mutt:  A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What's is this? Some kind of joke?"
Jeff:  How bout the singer who broke into song because he couldn't find the key?
Mutt:  How bout the expert farmer who was outstanding in his field?
Jeff:  How bout the wife who needs a lover just to break the monogamy?
Mutt:  On the surface of things whales are always blowing it.
Jeff:  A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
Mutt:  And when you dream in color it's a pigment of your imagination.
Jeff:  Are we on a roll yet?
Mutt:  No, not yet but close.
Jeff:  Oowah!

The DisUnited States of America by Luis Prieto

I just saw this documentary on Sky, and it struck me harder than I'd expected. I had to turn it off a couple times to recover. It simply follows Americans around before the election last November: Trump and Clinton supporters with no commentary. I suppose living abroad and being from California protected me from the this other face of my nation. I feel so distant from those people. They showed me my own prejudices and classism.

For example, the American-Republican obsession with guns is shocking. To me guns are one more useless bad thing that the corporate bad guys are trying to sell us. Less fear armed or more fear? Who's ever used a gun to save someone's life except a cop? It rarely happens. What more frequently happens is accidents, domestic violence shootings, murder, gang-related shootings, suicides, mass shootings (one a day last year). Nowhere else on earth is like this. Foreigners refer to it as the Wild West, and that's not a compliment.

But I'm not talking about the 2nd Amendment crowd, I'm focussed on my own blind spots, what I can't comprehend, that is, the good-hearted true believers in Trump: (the reality show con man, criminal, sexual predator, bigot, etc. etc.). I don't want to understand them, to allow them their opinions, to admit their humanity. I ran out of generosity on election day. No peace, no compromise, resistance! Maybe I secretly see a Trump supporter inside me and can't stand to face him (I am a middle-aged white guy, after all), or maybe that's amateur psycho-b.s.

I've tailored my news feed intake to suit my outrage and unhealthy obsession. That's not very American, watching either Fox or Fake News; shouldn't it be that everyone's equally entitled to their opinion, i.e., freedom of speech and all that. But this is, to me, a time of crisis, unlike any other. An unnatural disaster caused by mysterious forces. I've easily survived 8 terms of Republican presidents -- this is completely different. We risk losing our nation. Da.

Trump last night before Congress (I couldn't watch) proved that he can read what his conservative speech-writers prepare for him when he has to. That doesn't make him Presidential, which he has not been yet and gives no indication of ever being.  When he's au naturale he's an abomination, an embarrassment that'll last for the rest of our lives. The Twitter King is Nude. I'm not laughing.

And yet those (brain-washed) people who rallied to support him, apparently in increasingly smaller numbers, are my people. I can't choose who I want to consider Americans. I also can't ignore the situation that I consider so dire or become professorially removed from the action in the streets. If I were in the U.S. I hope I'd be out there getting dirty. Exercising my First Amendment Right to Protest.

So I teach and write, minor contributions to some imagined cause, like opening people's minds so they can think for themselves, sift through the trash on the idea heap, know when they're being conned. Whatever happened to "don't believe everything you read"? Anyway, better stay sharp, a hurricane of propaganda is coming. Never forget.

Happy trials, Martin


Mutt:  A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Jeff:  Good morning to you too, Mr. Muttster.
Mutt:  Bakers share their bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Jeff:  Is your record skipping?
Mutt:  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Jeff:  Bitch.
Mutt:  Watch it. I'm not in a good mood.
Jeff:  Not you, Mutt. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Mutt:  Is that a joke?
Jeff:  Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Mutt:  Is that a joke?
Jeff:  My cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath.
Mutt:  What's the difference between a well-dressed man and a dog?
Jeff:  I gave up long ago.
Mutt:  The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.
Jeff:  Long ago.  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Mutt:  I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt at first. Then it clicked.
Jeff:  My wife had a conniption yesterday. She saw her first strands of gray hair, and she thought she's dye.
Mutt:  Oh. My brother had a car wreck yesterday.
Jeff:  Oh.
Mutt:  He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
Jeff:  My dog went into a saloon with his leg bandaged. He went up to the bar and said: "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
Mutt:  My sister got married yesterday.
Jeff:  You don't say.
Mutt:  With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Jeff:  Oh.
Mutt:  Ohhhh, she was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. Tralala.
Jeff:  Quick! Hand me down my ukulele!

'16 Lists

Like every year:

Best films seen in 2016 (I watch most films on Sky television, so they will likely be from past years):

Fury

Kingsman

La vie en rose

Joe

The Signal

True Story

Intersteller

Zero Theorem

Anomalisa

Best TV 2016: (besides last year's list)

Rectify

Westworld

Billions

Foyle's War

Extant

Endeavour

Dicte (Danish)

Best books 2016 (excepting research):

Ramayana

Later the Same Day, Grace Paley

The Little Disturbances of Man, Grace Paley

Make-Believe, David Mamet

The Country of the Pointed Firs, Sarah Orne Jewett

A Modern Instance, William Dean Howells

The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip, George Saunders

Heart Goes Last, Margaret Atwood

Under the Banner of Heaven, Jon Krakauer

Teaching a Stone to Talk, Annie Dillard

The Abundance, Annie Dillard

No, You're a Puppet!

Trump seems out of control (no, you're out of control!). Either he is or is not. If he is not, maybe it's all an act. In any case, the question these days seems to be: who is in control? When the president speaks that's usually policy, but infant Trump contradicts his staff and department heads (and reality) every day, says whatever, makes shit up. Then cooler heads prevail telling the media that what Trump said is not what he meant, often just the opposite. What gives?

Is most unlikely president, Donald J. Trump, a useful fool, somebody's stooge, a straw man? Doing who's bidding? Is Trump a Russian puppet as Hillary said? Sure looks like it. His sending kisses to Putin sure is weird. Or is he a life-size cardboard dummie for the Republican reactionary agenda (racist sexist xenophobic)? Or is Trump a White Nationalist puppet? Or a Wall Street puppet? Can we get an answer by looking at who he's favoring with his executive orders? It's not us. Is he a puppet of the radical Christian right? Or, more likely, is it the millionaire Super PACs that put words in his mouth? He doesn't seem to be having a problem reading the note cards they give him and sign the presidential binder in front of the cameras. His apparent problems come when he's cut loose. Then he seems like a coke-head. So whose puppet is he, who's the president's boss? Not the American people this time around, that's pretty sure.

Orrrrrr. Could it be that Trump is totally in control and playing us all for fools? Look at the Mike Flynn affair: he puts this joker in a key position, the scandal comes out about his plotting with the Rooskies, Flynn gets the axe, Trump sings him a love song, happy ending, simply a bad choice, do-overs. Then he picks this McMaster guy, and everybody left right and center falls over themselves to praise him as Mister Perfect. I feel like I just fell for the bait and switch, the three card monte, the oldest trick in the book. All that over the top show business wild man act could be a distraction tactic while the confederate picks your pocket. It seems fishy to me to write off Trump as the fool and puppet that he seems. What if it's all a set-up and we're the suckers?

Trump could merely be a terrible president and a stupid person (he can't spell, can barely talk, doesn't listen, paranoid delusional, an easy mark for comedy, etc.), or he might be the world's best con man, scamming the whole country pretending to let someone else pull his strings. Either way we need to watch out, be smart, keep up the resistance, look under the surface, and never let him get away with anything. And keep your hand on your wallet. The one that holds: human rights, the rule of law, the constitution, American integrity and diversity, and so on.

The world's laughing now, but I say: Watch out for this guy; he wants us to underestimate him.

Happy trials, Martin


Mutt:  Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize.
Jeff:  Really? That's the best you can do?
Mutt:  Slow day. I did write a theatrical piece about puns.
Jeff:  Don't tell me, don't tell me. It was a play on words.
Mutt:  A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet and told that he would not be released until he made up a pun about his situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
Jeff:  That's better. You know I heard that there was a ghost in a hotel.
Mutt:  So?
Jeff:  So the management called for an inn spectre.
Mutt:  The truth may ring out like a bell, but it is seldom ever tolled.
Jeff:  How true. Did you hear about the invisible man who married an invisible woman? The kids were nothing to look at either.
Mutt:  Did you hear about the bear that was hit by a truck and splattered all over the road? They said it was a grizzly accident.
Jeff:  Speaking of Secretary DeVos ... What did the Norwegian coach say to his losing team of snakes?
Mutt:  We're doing Norwegian jokes? Isn't that racist?
Jeff:  He said, "You can't venom all."
Mutt:  Okay, this kid--I don't know if he was Norwegian--was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but, alas, his request was denied. The store manager said, "Sorry kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
Jeff:  Alas.
Mutt:  I don't know. Alaska.

We the People Resist

I wanna thank President Agent Orange for perpetuating all the evil that you’ve been perpetuating throughout the United States. I wanna thank President Agent Orange for your unsuccessful attempt at the Muslim ban. Now we come together! We the people!  Busta Rhymes

We the People by A Tribe Called Quest

[Verse 1: Q-Tip]
We don't believe you 'cause we the people
Are still here in the rear, ayo, we don't need you
You in the killing-off-good-young-nigga mood
When we get hungry we eat the same fucking food
The ramen noodle
Your simple voodoo is so maniacal, we're liable to pull a juju
The irony is that this bad bitch in my lap
She don't love me, she make money, she don't study that
She gon' give it to me, ain't gon' tell me run it back
She gon' take the brain to wetter plains, she spit on that
The doors have signs with, don't try to rhyme with
VH1 has a show that you can waste your time with
Guilty pleasures take the edge off reality
And for a salary I'd probably do that shit sporadically
The OG Gucci boots are smitten with iguanas
The IRS piranha see a nigga gettin' commas
Niggas in the hood living in a fishbowl
Gentrify here, now it's not a shit hole
Trendsetter, I know, my shit's cold
Ain't settling because I ain't so bold but ay

[Hook: Q-Tip]
All you Black folks, you must go
All you Mexicans, you must go
And all you poor folks, you must go
Muslims and gays, boy, we hate your ways
So all you bad folks, you must go

[Bridge: Phife Dawg & Q-Tip]
The fog and the smog of news media that logs
False narratives of Gods that came up against the odds
We're not just nigga rappers with the bars
It's kismet that we're cosmic with the stars

[Verse 2: Phife Dawg]
You bastards overlooking street art
Better yet, street smarts but you keep us off the charts
So motherfuck your numbers and your statisticians
Fuck y'all know about true competition?
That's like a AL pitcher on deck talking about he hittin'
The only one who's hitting are the ones that's currently spittin'
We got your missy smitten rubbing on her little kitten
Dreaming of a world that's equal for women with no division
Boy, I tell you that's vision
Like Tony Romo when he hitting Witten
The Tribe be the best in they division
Shaheed Muhammad cut it with precision
Who can come back years later, still hit the shot?
Still them tryna move we off the fucking block
Babylon, bloodclaat
Two pon yuh headtop

[Hook: Q-Tip]
All you Black folks, you must go
All you Mexicans, you must go
And all you poor folks, you must go
Muslims and gays, boy, we hate your ways
So all you bad folks, you must go

Music in Memorium, 2016

Musicians:

Al Caiola

Alirio Diaz

Bap Kennedy

Bernie Worrell

Billy Faier

Billy Paul

Bobby Hutcherson

Bobby Vee

Buckwheat Zydeco

Curly Putnam (songwriter)

Dave Swarbrick

Don Friedman

Dr. Ralph Stanley

Elliot Schwartz

Elliot Wolff

Fred Hellerman

Fred Stobaugh (songwriter)

Gato Barbieri

Gib Guilbeau (Flying Burrito Brothers)

Glenn Frey

Glenn Yarbrough

Greg Lake

Guy Clark

Holly Dunn

Jean Shepard

John D. Loudermilk

Kacey Jones

Kay Starr

Kitty Kallen

Leon Russell

Leonard Cohen

Lonnie Mack

Mack Rice

Maurice White (Earth, Wind & Fire)

Mentor Williams (songwriter)

Merle Haggard

Mic Gillette

Milt Okun

Mose Allison

Oscar Brand

Otis Clay

Paul Kantner

Penny Lang

Peter Zorn

Phil Chess (Chess Records)

Red Simpson

Richard Fagan

Rob Wasserman

Rod Templeton (songwriter)

Ruby Wilson

Scotty Moore

Sharon Jones

Signe Toly Anderson

Sir George Martin

Sir Jimmy Young

Sir Neville Marriner

Sonny Sanders (songwriter)

Stan Harper (harp-er)

Toots Thielemans

Lastly, I'll recognize David Bowie and Prince and George Michael for their contribution to pop music.

writers:

Alvin Toffler

Amy van Singel

Anthony Cronin

Bill Berkson

C. D. Wright

Carolyn See

Dario Fo

David Budbill

David Meltzer

Don Welch

Edward Albee

Eliot Tiber

Francisco X. Alarcón

Georgie Sicking (cowboy poet)

Huston Smith

James Alan McPherson

Jim Harrison

John Montague

Joyce Carol Thomas

Lucia Perillo

Maria Costa

Michael Herr

Michael S. Harper

Nahed Hattar (killed by a fanatic)

Pat Conroy

Richard Adams

Sir Geoffrey Hill

Sir Peter Shaffer

Stephen Levine

Sylvan Barnet

Thomas Steinbeck

W. P. Kinsella

others:

Alan Rickman

Arnold Palmer

Bob Elliot

Carlo Azeglio Ciampi

Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds

Daniel Berrigan

Edgar Mitchell (Apollo 14)

Elie Wiesel

Garry Shandling

Gene Wilder

Glen Dawson, 103 (mountaineer)

Gwen Ifill

Henry Heimlich

Hugh O’Brian

Janet Reno

Jerome Bruner

Jim Ray Hart

Jo Cox

Joe Browder

John Glenn

Ken Howard

Michael Cimino

Monte Irvin

Morley Safer

Muhammad Ali

Patty Duke

Ralph Branca

Robert Vaughn

Shimon Peres

Tom Hayden

Umberto Veronesi

Van Williams

Vera Rubin

William Schallert