Mourning # 12

Mourning # 12

 

Remember the shopping list as today

we’re allowed to go out to a grocery

write it down, my English teacher

used to say, then at home put the

books back in alphabetical order and

the meds by date of expiration

the dread will still be there

there’s no palliative for the black dread

hanging with the weight of souls in

purgatory unable to translocate because

they died off-time – part “natural”

causes, part intentional incompetence

i.e. murder – one Poirot could never solve

there is no solving, even shopping is

no solution, it just must be done.

 

---- John Garvison, 95, had chronic obstructive

pulmonary disease, a pre-existing condition

yet after a week in the hospital with COVID symptoms

he had improved enough to go back to his nursing

home, his son Paul drove him, the next time Paul

visited his father he had to wear a full hazmat suit

his father did not recognize him and died soon after

John had worked in social services with adopted

children in Santa Cruz, California.

The obituary Paul wrote for the local paper began:

“His death was due to neglect of the vulnerable

by the Trump Administration, which had consistently

downplayed the dangers of this terrible disease.”

 

 

Mourning # 11

Mourning # 11

 

I couldn’t stop crying if I wanted to

my relief check did not arrive

our town is in extreme lockdown again

yet the virus cuts down people like

wheat under the reaper’s scythe

my country’s taken over by madness

threatening charging good to fight

we’re already fighting, out of breath

I’m still shoveling mud out of the basement

and the landlord’s kicking me out on the curb

since I lost my sweeping job at the gym

I sit on the carpeted step

and get weak, weakened, break down

get down, wet-eyed.

 

---- Pamela Caddell had no funeral, that was the deal

her husband, Richard, wrote a plea for the newspaper

“It was her fervent wish that everyone take this horrible

disease seriously.” Pamela and Richard met as teenagers

while she worked as a carhop at a root beer stand

they married and had a son and a daughter, Pamela 

worked for many years as a nurse and then as caregiver

for her sister Debbie who had lung cancer, Debbie got

coronavirus first and died, then Pamela followed her

she was 71 years old and had been married to Richard

for 53 years, he now lives alone with the couple’s elderly

dog and is having trouble adjusting, “She never took away

from people and her greatest satisfaction was helping …

That’s the type of person Pamela was, and people should

know that. And she should not be dead. She should be

alive.”

 

 

 

Mourning # 10

Mourning # 10

 

Transcending Grief

let’s transcend our grief

stepping-stone the stages

move on and forward out of the valley

of a thousand tears – that’s enough

don’t make yourself sick over it

he/she/they would have wanted you

to get on with your life, remarry

find a new partner at Christmastime

online or maybe at a grief therapy group

hi, I lost my dog

hi, I lost 400,000 compatriots

let’s go get coffee, then into bed

to seal our release

the end is here (the beginning too).

 

---- Rosemary Collins was a choir director

at her church and at Clearwater High School

in Florida, she had classical voice training

she sang arias and musicals, she loved

music, she died on December 22 of complications

of the coronavirus, just a few days after

showing her first symptoms, she was 51.

Silence.

 

Mourning # 9

Mourning # 9

 

If I could decide I would not eat pizza

again tonight, I mean I would, I will

but I wish I were eating only healthy

wonder foods prepared by a private chef

and I would not smoke drink or watch

television or obsess on sex or sports

video games or sweeping the garage.

I wish I had more self-control:

I decide – I do / my life – my rules

except then they invite me over and it

seems bad to say no – to friends

to ads, to spiritual mojo. I do

not wear a mask when I go out, I

should but it’s uncomfortable, and

how can I not hug my aunts and uncles

I may never see again?

 

---- Isai Morocho was a Junior at East High 

in Madison, Wisconsin. He died 

from the novel coronavirus. 

His school district office released

a statement … heartbroken … tremendous

loss … impacts us all … take precautions

His principle said … caring friend …

ready smile … great sense of humor.

As if they filled in the name on a form

did anyone know Isai? His friends:

great smile … very funny … good student

good brother to his little sister … his writing

was outstanding.

That could be the real Isai. When he read

his essay he made the class cry. There, that’s

somebody special. His aunt warned the public

to wear a mask as she said Isai always did.

GoFundMe page for funeral costs.

 

 

 

Mourning # 8

Mourning # 8

 

All the prayers of the Buddhist monks

the Zen monks, the Benedictine monks

and nuns too rising like yellow smoke

from the fumaroles of a nearby volcano.

 

Sports is two teams, right? Us vs. Them

Only one can win, right?

 

The prayers that black people die

that Don Jesus Trump will establish his realm

and that slavery returns under the

Confederate Flag (like in a movie). Plus

concentration camps. And dead

grandparents.

 

On top of this contest snow dumps a load

a heavy load of coronavirus on the stadium

just as we were praying for our squad

to win to fight in glorious battle.

Unless there are no winners

 

---- Jesse “Jay” Taken Alive, former chairman of the Standing Rock Sioux, 65, advocate and protector of language and culture, died of COVID-19 a week after his wife also died at the Indian Health Service Hospital in Fort Yates, North Dakota. They leave 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 3 great-grandchildren. They were married 45 years. Jay Taken Alive was a passionate leader for tribal sovereignty, defense of tribal lands, fighting drug abuse and suicide devastating tribal communities, promoting higher education for young Sioux and supporting the protests against the Dakota Access oil pipeline before his death. Taken Alive met with Swedish climate activist, Greta Thunberg, and gave her the Lakota name: Maphiyata echiyatan hin win, which means “woman who came from the heavens.”

 

 

 

Mourning # 7

Mourning # 7

 

Your body is infected

germs in camo vests run

into the halls and offices

of your whole healthiness

looking for a pinhole weakness

they’re on drugs yelling crazy shit

banging on doors with fists

and they find the pinhole

there are plenty all around

how did they get in?

why did they come?

 

You are infected now and could die

can you imagine

your last gasp

your final tweet

closing your eyes

for the last time

all so sad you’ll say

and preventable.

 

---- former Connecticut trooper

a first responder at Sandy Hook

his name is Patrick Dragon

he died at Hartford Hospital

deputy chief of East Brooklyn

Fire Department after retiring

from the State Police, 34 years

on December 14, 2012 in Newtown

at Sandy Hook Elementary where

28 were killed, 20 young children

his sister called him ‘the bravest

person I know’ he rushed into the

school and what a scene!

are first responders doing their jobs

heroes? they do it for the paycheck

but they also do it as helpers

find the helpers, support them

mourn for them, even if they are

not gunned down on duty but are

taken away by the modern black plague.

 

 

Mourning # 6

Mourning # 6

 

“music began 

in the midst of the mourning”

Rainer Maria Rilke, Duino Elegies

 

The shriek glissades to a moan

A major to F# minor

then the whimper on the exhale

in straight D on the upbeat

the palm slaps the chair arm

or pant leg or pillow case

a few staccato pulsations in double time

even the silence that enters the house

is musical, at night, when the guests

leave, the virus leaves with them

until there’s breathing on two notes

inhale here exhale there, over

and over.

 

---- Armando Manzanero, 85, died of COVID-19

in December 2020 after 6 days on a ventilator.

He was Mexico’s premier songwriter and pop singer.

His romantic ballads were performed by Sinatra,

Elvis and Perry Como. Manzanero won a life-

time achievement Grammy in 2014. He wrote over

400 songs and made 30 records. He was still working

when he got sick. The Mexican Society of Authors

and Composers called him, “the romantic soul of Mexico”

and said, “the world is in mourning.” He was married

four times. Manzanero was rather short, but he was

a giant of Mexican music.

 

Was that sound the swish of a brush on a snare drum

or his spirit flying away to wherever those things go?

 

And tomorrow

Should you ask me for the world

Somehow I’d get it

I would sell my very soul

And not regret it

For to live without your love

It’s just impossible

 

Siempre novios

Solo novios

Impossible.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti is dead.

"The world is a beautiful place"

Lawrence Ferlinghetti 1919-2021

          The world is a beautiful place 
                                               to be born into 
if you don't mind happiness 
                                        not always being 
                                                              so very much 

fun 
     if you don't mind a touch of hell 
                                             now and then 
             just when everything is fine 
                                                  because even in 

heaven 
                             they don't sing 
                                                all the time

          The world is a beautiful place 
                                                to be born into 
if you don't mind some people dying 
                                                   all the time 
                 or maybe only starving 
                                              some of the time 
         which isn't half bad 
                                      if it isn't you 

Oh the world is a beautiful place 
                                            to be born into 
       if you don't much mind 
                                      a few dead minds 
              in the higher places 
                                           or a bomb or two 
                    now and then 
                                        in your upturned faces 
    or such other improprieties 
                                          as our Name Brand 

society 
                           is prey to 
                                       with its men of distinction 
         and its men of extinction 
                                           and its priests 
                     and other patrolmen 
                                                    and its various 

segregations 
         and congressional investigations 
                                                      and other 

constipations 
                      that our fool flesh 
                                               is heir to 

Yes the world is the best place of all 
                                                   for a lot of such 

things as 
          making the fun scene 
                                            and making the love scene 
and making the sad scene 
                                       and singing low songs and

having

inspirations 
and walking around 
                            looking at everything 
                                                       and smelling 

flowers 
and goosing statues 
                           and even thinking 
                                                  and kissing people 

and 
     making babies and wearing pants 
                                                  and waving hats and 
                                    dancing 
                                             and going swimming in 

rivers 
                              on picnics 
                                        in the middle of the summer 
and just generally 
                         'living it up' 

Yes 
   but then right in the middle of it 
                                            comes the smiling 

mortician 

https://youtu.be/l11MUjuK43M