The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 14

DAY 14: The mime was right all along

the walls are closing in

don't touch them, everything's septic

imaginary glass and missing shadows

most of all us, most of all our minds

on TV they give numbers -- all false

that's okay, we want false numbers
underestimate by a factor of ten

please seem 'upbeat', look on the

bright side, give us some good

news for a change, for a change, again

-- I may be all wrong

but it seems like nobody knows

how to suffer anymore, how to hurt,

okay, in Syria they do, I mean here

have you never been hungry

when there is no food at all

no money to buy any

the hours click by and you try

to do something, concentrate

on not being so hungry?

ever been thirsty, had to ration

water, been dehydrated for

miles? ever been poor

I mean not a dime sideways

no one to borrow from

ever been homeless

ever been shoe-less

ever been friend-less

doesn't everyone have someone?

no birthday when not a single

human being remembers you

a Christmas with not a single

present, not even from yourself

to yourself -- it ain't nice, ask

the tents under the bridge,

it ain't nice, but, you know,

you can do without

you can abide.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 13

DAY 13: Obedience

the government, actually the mayor,

says stay (the fuck) home and we stay (the fuck) home

even though il Duce said trying to

govern Italians was pointless

I look out the window, however -- nobody

the joggers are gone, dog-walkers

too -- as if they went into hibernation

season over, dig a hole, jump

inside, and pull the hole in

after you

okay, good, fear keeps us safe
but what happens when 

the government cancels the

election, what happens when

it's martial law, shoot anything

that moves, the TV becomes all

propaganda, the plug pulled

on truth-tellers?

I dreamed of living with a ghost woman 

who would not say no, reflexively

who would not yell I must

go out and get some air some

fruit, we have no fruit!

even if it means contagion

even a risk of contagion

don't you people know how 
to suffer, it's no-fruit day

part of no-fruit week

stay home -- obey

please can I tie her down -- no

she went out sound

did she come back in-

fected with cooties

we'll know in 14 days --

let's let

live live and/or die die.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 12

DAY 12: I felt like this after 911

after the Trump election

King, Kent State, Kennedy

after wars start, natural disasters

at home away from home

I didn't feel like this after Mother

or Father died, that's different

plus, I've had the hard

heart beat, fight or flight

surrounded by bears at midnight

on the operating table when

the doc goes "oh shit"

and yet

we really could all die this time

for so long -- now 15 days

and counting, today a thousand

tomorrow ten thousand

movies have been made

how they keep us interested:

will our favorite sexy actors

get the disease and/or recover?

there's no cure, there's no prevention

oh no

they last a couple hours, the end

or a really scary movie of

catastrophic proportions might

take you in enough to keep you

awake -- one night, one hour

to now

I haven't slept soundly

for over two weeks

I'm starting to feel weak

as I imagine we all are:

did those actors really make a video

singing, "Imagine there's no people ..."?

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 11

DAY 11: Go on then

think of something really pithy to say

something pithy, an observation about life

this life under siege on death row waiting

waiting to get kicked out of one country

sent back to another country

where only torture and death await

why are you torturing me? what do you want?

nothing. no information. no places dates or names.

we're not enjoying this, just cutting burning and suffocating

because ... I don't know

no reason, you can go now

can I really? not yet, soon, after the plague

in the meantime, more torture, here,

let me fill your lungs with liquid

let me clamp your airways painfully shut

let me attach you to expensive machines

machines that attach to you

permanently, like bloodsucking leeches,

because even if we detach

for one of two reasons

you'll never cease to feel

the presence of the machine

the torture machine

politics aside, science aside

we'll keep you alive

as long as we want -- goodbye.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 10

DAY 10: I say -- don't go out

She says -- I need fruit

fuck fruit

I say -- we could die

She says -- I'm going crazy

What does one say after one gets infected?

Oops?

God's will?

Sorry, you'll be dead soon

or maybe not

maybe you'll discover that fruit

is the cure

you should have listened to her

-- here I am

locked in my union

locked in my town

locked in my house

locked in my bathroom

going down

down the drain

spinning, flushing myself free

of this poison earth

into the intestines

where stink and acid aren't so unfamiliar

where there's no one to argue with

where it's dark, gurgling and soapy

slippery -- don't fall,

hard as it is

don't go out -- at all!

ever, forever, never

no exceptions

I say

today.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 9

DAY 9: I could learn a foreign language

improve my guitar playing

lose weight, treat my skin, make love

-- NAH --

let's just keep the radio on 
the rising-number-of-dead channel

and fry liver and onions till

there ain't no more

no more strategies or pursuits

when did I ever walk around this

crappy neighborhood unless to get

somewhere anyhow

but now I imagine myself down

there in the sun -- first day

of spring --

where? anywhere when I get out

of detention I'll go out

out there

brave new worlds, new civilizations

across the universe -- that's me

me free, me not in this cage

although, cage could be worse

and I'm not-dead today

yet what is freedom, what is choice

can I hear

my own voice

calling my name

into the vacuum

no answer back

in any language

foreign or domestic.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 8

DAY 8: Such an awesome sunny spring day outside

so peaceful and inviting outside

they have just banned running

jogging walking the dog and

going for a drive in the hills

or along the beach

to fire up the barbecue

roast a few wieners

drain a few beers,

so, at the moment these activities

I haven't read the ordinance

are still legal and allowed:

-- looking out the window

with sad-dog eyes reflecting

the blue painted with blue.

-- thinking great thoughts but

none come, so thinking nasty

horrible thoughts of pain and

death, loss of love and life --

the end, abandonment.

-- crying permitted within

reason but not encouraged.

-- complaining -- same.

-- sitting before the television altar

absorbing only that tick tock 
of rising blood pressure.

-- sitting on the toilet, non-productively.

-- lying in bed wondering

when this will end --

but, again, I haven't read the ordinance.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 7

DAY 7: They wear the latest fashion

drive Volvos and Audis, power SUVs

they eat out with their friends

every weekend

and have lovers

cheat on their taxes

pay someone else to raise their kids

who they love so much

-- the young professionals

lawyers and entrepreneurs

and doctors

medical doctors

doctors of medicine, is it

Hippocratic oath

or Hypocritic oath?

-- they went on a ski vacation

five-star hotels

to the Alps and back, smirking

back to work after their fun

back to the hospital dreariness

the studio or office

to argue with clients

about money

-- INFECTED

140 people, husbands and wives

from our clean town, we're good 

in lockdown ... thereupon :: bam!

violated the quarantine

because they could

slipped out in secret

chartered plane

had their country-club kicks

the snow felt so good

came back to meet those

hundreds of stay-at-home losers

-- INFECTED

they might kill us all

richbastards, all one word

the authorities are hunting for them

the 140 and everyone they

contacted / contracted in the last week --

:: heaven help us all.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 6

DAY 6: Isn't it always that way

the more you test

the more positives you get

isn't it always that way

life is a test

give us more positives

you search for the truth

turn over every single rock

examine every sunrise, sunset

twilight and dawn

the more worms you get

the more germs, pathogens, cooties, supercooties

is it better not to know

to escape for a week on the snow

bring the crud home

infect your whole town

who's to know

it was you

and you had your fun run

your friends are young

they'll probably survive

you and yours -- alive

good luck and keep praying

and when you gotta go

when the Good Lord says it's time

you ask where to get in line, to queue

one meter apart minimum

only when absolutely necessary

believers who previously

scoffed

now on ventilators

lying next to their neighbors

and grandparents

with their moon boots still on.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 5

DAY 5: The balconies are singing

Italian nonnas are singing

the friars are singing

la la la

my friend calls it joy

I call it silly

folks are dying
folks are crying

why try 

to feign allegria

hey, we're walkin' here

I want to be angry, depressed

let the dread sink in deep

let my bones feel sick

maybe I just want my own virus

through and through

to be a protagonist

go out with a bang

to be on people's minds

in their prayers, says the non-believer

dress me in the plastic suit

give me a king-sized ration

of pure oxygen, let me hear the final hmm

he's strong, he should pull through.

Last evening I got a chill

out on the damn balcony

I went to bed early not to sleep

but to avoid the TV

I thought I had a fever

could feel it rise like a sea monster
coming up for air

I've got it, first symptom

I'd looked it up on the internet

the thermostat gave me the bad news:

normal, merely normal

you're not special yet, bud

go sing, a song, a smiley one

try being happy

or fake it,

survivor.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 4

DAY 4: Get in the car and drive!

Drive, man, drive

TV full of car commercials right now

as if we're all planning our escape

across the Mojave the Australian

Outback and Siberia
flat out, hammer down

tankards of gasoline on the roof

to that promised land where

everything you touch
not covered in deadly viral germs ...

I died and went to heaven anyway

through the pearly gates and saw

St. Pete with an N95 mask on saying

you didn't touch the gate

without gloves on, did you?

Down, sinner infected, down you go!

Today, I may finish one project

and start another -- what the hell

spring cleaning, canning, quilting

it feels okay yet I'm afraid

if I get sick I might not get well

if I don't get sick I might crack

either way, either way

I'm at bay.

The Quarantine Chronicles, Day 3

DAY 3: Forced agoraphobia, a thing

I guess, I like this, I'm so comfortable

I got a five-day head start

a fifty-year head start

I normally can go out

but I don't

don't like to

so now I'm cool 

with the isolation

I am a rock

which drives normal people crazy

me, self-entertaining

me, self-starting (Lordy, so many projects)

self-quarantine of the self

help, Doktor Freud, help

my phobia is slipping

(my slip is showing)

I am an island

yet finally I have thousands

millions of sisters and brothers

larvae in crowded egg shells

how do you'all like it?
warm and safe

designing your own 

tight mental/health space

like a Market Street mime

closing in on himself

in white face

the pale face of fear

of death

2000 already smothered,

am I next?

no but

no but